Christmas

First off we want to thank everyone that has sent us christmas cards. We would like everyone to know that we will not be doing cards this year and we hope that you all understand. If we did not have Carter we would skip it all together this year.

That being said with christmas right around the corner im finding myself having more and more bad days. When I wake up I dont want to get out of bed but I have to for Carter, I wake up angry anymore that ^Christian^ got cancer and then it took his life. There is no greater pain then a mother/father  mourning there child. It will be nine months on the 23rd since he left us and it the pain is only getting worse. 

Carter ask me one day while I was upset what was wrong with me he said in his sweet little voice are you sad mommy, so I said yes I am mommy is missing Christian. So he took me by the hand over to the window and opened the curtian to point up to the sky and said mommy the babys in the sky. That broke my heart.

So once again if you are reading this and you have children doesnt matter there age tell them you love them every single day and give them hugs and kisses. 

Missing you more then anything my sweet Christian wishing you were here with me right now snuggling on my lap....I wish I could hold you my sweet Angel.