what is normal life

Its been a week now since Christian earned his wings and this has been the hardest week for us. There is a whole in our hearts that will never be filled. CANCER SUCKS!!! No one should ever have to lose a child.
Our life for the past 2 and half years has been all about cancer and taking care of Christian and now that he is gone its like what am I suppose to do now. Normal life as we call it kinda sucks right now and the only thing that is making us happy is seeing our beautiful Carter laughing,and having fun.
We knew he touched a lot of people by seeing how many was at the service. Its hard to believe a sweet little 4 yr old could touch so many people.
Being in WV doesn't take any pain away and we know what will be home when we get there. Its just as hard being here as it is there Christian loved being down here and that is what I'm trying to hold on to. All of the places that he loved and what he loved to do. We are going to take Carter fishing sometime in honor of Christian we are hoping that he will be as still as Christian was by the water :)
Thank you again for all of your prayers.

What A Beautiful Service/Thank you's

Thank you to Stephan and Burns funeral home, Pastor Mary Kelly and Organist Connie Myers for the beautiful service today. Thank you to the Folks at Time Warner and "The Catering Company" for providing the wonderful luncheon afterwards. Thank you to Jim and the rest at Graser's Florist for the lovely floral arrangements. Thank you to Pap, Grandpa, Mike and Tim for serving as Pallbearers. Also thank you to the folks at Camp Good Days for the balloon release. We couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate our son's life. Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and support.

View/Sign Guestbook
Christian W. Showers
SHOWERS-Christian W. March 23, 2008, age 4, beloved son of Darren and Amy Showers; dearest brother of Carter Showers; also survived by 2 aunts, 5 grandparents, 2 great grandparents and 2 great-great grandparents. Friends may call Tuesday from 2-4 & 7-9 PM at the STEPHAN-BURNS FUNERAL HOME INC, 266 East St. at Austin. Services will be held on Wednesday at 11 AM at The University United Methodist Church, 410 Minnesota Ave, Buffalo, NY. In lieu of or in addition to flowers donations may be made to The Christian Showers Memorial Garden Fund.

Final Arrangements

Viewing services will be held from 2-4pm and 7-9pm on Tuesday at Stephan-Burns Funeral Home at 266 East St. Buffalo 14207. The Funeral Service will be had at 11:00am on Wednesday at the University United Methodist Church at 410 Minnesota Ave. Buffalo 14215. All are welcome. Thank you for your continued support. Floral arrangements can be made with Graser's Florist at 399 Amherst St. Buffalo 14207 (800) 536-2837.

Our angel earned his wings

It breaks my heart to write this update, at 3:30 this afternoon Christian passed away. I will add the arrangements when we know what they will be. Thank you to everyone that prays for our family.

update

Things have been about the same here, yesterday while giving him a bath his breathing had paused around 5 times so that was a little scary once again thinking is this it.
Carter gave him kisses this morning and said bye bye , I know carter doesn't understand anything but maybe Christian needed to hear him say that who knows at this point he is a stubborn little guy.
We would like to thank everyone again that has sent us food, it is greatly appreciated.

update

Christian is the same, still hanging on.
I have been letting my hair grow long and decided a while back to cut it for locks of love,lastnight our friend was over and I did it. Cut it all off so here are before and after pics.

pics

Here are the boys all dressed up,We dont know if we will Christian on easter so we had it today. They are a couple of cuties!
If I dont post everyday things are probally the same so dont freak out.I will update when I can.

update

Last night was peaceful, He would wake up and look at me so I would talk to him, tell him i loved him. Hopefully today will be as well.

pic

I was laying with Christian and Carter wanted to lay with the baby so we were all taking a nap :)

another rough one

First off i was holding my breath all day yesterday for it was the 13th and that was the day of dx and others things have happened on the number 3.
We went to bed after having an alright day we just sit around and held him all day basically. Then early this morning he was having breathing issues where he was trying hard to breath, so we layed there and told him its ok go with god. We gave him morphin and put the fan on because thats what we were told to do and this morning he is still here with us, opening his eyes holding our hands. We just hate seeing him fight like that.

update

Yesterday was a good day, we gave him a bath with mommy and he must have been relaxed because he ended up taking poop in the tub.Then while daddy was dressing him and making fun of what he did to me he took a pee on daddy so he got us both.
After that he was awake for along time. He was even moving his right arm a little. So it was REALLY nice seeing that from him.

update

Last night was ok, he opened his eyes a little and looked at daddy,and this morning he is moving his head and trying to look at us and squeeze our hands. Of course he could be doing all of this because the patch is wearing off but we will take it.
Thank you all for all of your prayers from your mouths to gods ears.

update

His eyes are now not responding to light, and he has been sleeping for two days not really waking up.He does nod his head alittle and trys to squeeze our hand.
This is the hardest thing to do!

We wanted to thank the ladies that have brought/send us dinner. It has meant alot to us and that is more time we have spent with Christian. So again thank you.

few pics

update

Today has been an ok day he has slept most of the day but was awake enough to smile,show us his fist,play with a little baby snow man(he made me make him one) after that my sister and I took Carter outside to play for abit and I was able to laugh and enjoy time with him. However I felt a little guilty for having the fun with out Christian.

breathing

Christians breathing is starting to be labored. His heart rate keeps going fast then slow.

update

Lastnight was a little better regarding the morphin intake. He only asked for it once so the new higher dose patch must be working like we want it to. He does sleep off and on but he also is awake and showing us that beautiful smile.

We keep getting ask what people can do for us besides pray that things go smoothly dinners or lunches would also be appreciated. We are trying to enjoy every second that we have left with him and alot of times he wants one of us to lay beside him in bed snuggling but that's OK with us.

update

Christian is now on a pain patch as well as morphin. They are trying to find the right dosage to keep the pain under control.
He is sleeping pretty much all day these days but he does wake up for a few seconds and smiles at us.
Once again if you want to visit with him then please do it now and dont wait. He may not be awake when you are here but he will know that you are here if you sit beside him,talk to him touch him.

update

He slept all day yesterday and lastnight needed suctioned more then usual. Today so far he has been awake more and smiling some at us and carter. He can not sit on his own anymore so needs to be surrounded by pillows and blankets.
Again if you want to visit with him please do so asap. he is getting worse everyday.

pics

I love the one with the puppy its like there staring each other down.

Rough night

last night was hell!!!! About two in the morning he woke up choking and we both thought that was it that he was going to die right there. He had a fever of 103.7 so we gave him some tylenol took off his clothes and put cold wash clothes on him. That made us feel sick as hell seeing him like that. The nurse will be coming later to check him out so we will see what she has to say.